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09.21.03 - 1:00 a.m. I can't sleep. I am at my mom's and I can't sleep. The vibe of a hometown is such a cozy feeling. Even though, some of my worst times I spent living in this town, all of my formative years were here. It's everything, the smells, the trees, the brick roads; all of it stirs so many memories. I know, how trite and generic, someone going on about the nostalgia of a home town, but there is much to be said about coming home. At times, I find it sad that mom has moved on and left my stepfather, and the house I grew up in. I would like to be in my old bedroom, again, asleep in a bed next to the open window and listening to the cicadas or the sound of the falling rain, or my favourite, the distant rythmic clacking of a train. I grew up along the Mississippi, and I have always sort of thought that was special in some way. The river is so massive, and produces so much power. Some of it is harnessed by large dams that provide electricity to towns along the river. Most of it can not be tapped, and you can feel it when you're standing next to it, as if your soul is being pulled along. Isn't it sad how short childhood seemed. Sometimes, I feel as if it were a dream. My child self I seem to know no better than some of the Me(s) I have been in dreams. The world did seem so different. The world was different. If we do only go around on this little planet once, than childhood was a great little bonus. If reincarnation is the way the universe spins, than I can't wait to be a kid again. There was a time when I had no idea that clouds had any relationship with the water in the rivers. I thought they were there own creation. Lazy entities that blew across the sky, consuming one another to gain size, or sometimes breaking a part into feathers only to disappear completely. I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls and somehow they got together to make more dogs and cats. I have to sleep now. I like sleeping in the same house with my mom. It's womby. Peace. PS My sister's baby, Coree, is one cute little peanut.
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