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10.01.03 - 3:03 p.m. Mental Note: This place is for the venting...use it more. My friend, Dara, has now been living with us for one month and three weeks, and rent will be due for the second month, today. So far, she has paid zilch for rent, bills, and a whole helluva lot of food for her and her seven year old son. She didn't even REALLY start looking for a job until about a week ago, or so. I keep waiting, patiently, for her to hit rock bottom. I know she is in some sort of numbing depression, OR she is just becoming the most indifferent, lazy person I have ever met. I keep thinking once she hits rock bottom she will pull herself up by her boot-straps, if she happens to be wearing boots at the time, and realize she is 30 years old with a 7 year old son and the days of being an irresponsible lay about are long gone. Her son asked us the other day if we were mad at him because he ate McDonalds for supper. Apperently, Dara told him that D. and I would get mad if she bought him fast food. What the fuck is that? She is approaching being behind a thousand dollars...why would a buck ninety-nine Happy Meal push me over the edge? I suppose it is a bit refreshing that she is feeling some sort of guilt...it is just fucked up that it is being focused towards a child. Wouldn't it be a much more appropriate action to focus that guilt on, I don't know...the want ads? Dara is a smart woman and she has a degree in Surgical Technology....you know the person who hands over the rib-splitters or Scalpals. She COULD easily get a job at one of the two hosptials in town, but no, she just doesn't feel like working in a hospital right now. What? She doesn't FEEL like working some place that would pay her good money? You don't wait to FEEL like working in life...if you did that then nobody would even have a job. So, she is getting a job decorating cakes at some new shwanky cake place. She will be lucky if she makes minimum wage and the job won't even be there for another 2 weeks. Baby needs food, and I would like a little bit 'o rent money. I know what she is going to do...She is going to get back together with Vodka sucking asshole husband, because she wants to be taken care of at the price of a hellish existence. I think she sees it as a damned if she does and damned if she didn't. She is making steps in that direction, now. She is going on a 'date' with him tonight, and when she gets home she is going to complain that he isn't making the neccessary changes in his DNA to please her and that he's just going to have to make it through her neurotic checklist. And then there will be another date, and by then he will be mad with his obsession to 'get back together' that he will say anything and jump through what ever hoop, temporarily, to get her back. She will move in with him, decorate cakes, and little Simon will play his gameboy as he withdraws further and further away. She will stop talking to me, and then begin to reinvent the living situation here, and somehow justify in her reality why she doesn't have to pay me any money. We will lose touch...luckily I am good friends with Simon's dad so I will still get to hang out with him. Maybe it won't happen this way...but patterns are patterns, and they rarely change. Of course, when they do that is where the break throughs come from. This is how we 'totally change our lives,' but few actually do it, and so far I haven't seen Dara leaning towards that path. I hope she does. Not because of money...screw the money...I just want her to start living life instead of "going with the flow" in all the wrong ways. I have vented. Whew...I feel a bit better.
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