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05.02.04 - 10:47 p.m. I put things in a list. Chaoticly (sp?) 1. I'm too lazy to find a purpose. 2. Too many things I've turned my back on are going to bite me in the ass. Actually, they all are...and pretty soon, too. The rubberband theory...shit snaps back. 3. I'm not happy. 4. Thinks that's the point...not being happy, that is. 5. Back to the purpose thing again...always pops up when I think about my happiness. 6. We're going to create black holes in the lab. I, of course am not included in the 'we,' well, I am in that all of humanity is responsible...for the good that will come of it...or the bad. 7. I wonder what a universe unmade would look like? Less of the 'bright stuff' I'm thinking. 8. ,er...black holes of energy not mass...then they're very tiny, quantum level weirdness, and they last only a short time...supposedly. 9. This isn't much of a list. Just an orderly way to display disorderly thought. 10. Work is too big of a pie if my life were made into a pie graph. If my work actually was an integral part of what makes up my humanity then if it were a big pie...I could stomach it... 11. There better be a point to all of this...if science wins, completely, and all of this is just random bullshit that will one day smoosh back together into an mass-infinite ball of 'all of this' only to go Big Bang all over again...I think I'll throw up...and then be really pissed, followed by extreme disapointment and depression. 11. Faith ain't such a bad thing. 12. The miniseries 10.9...very bad. 13. Mental Note...Get some faith. 14. I'm tired. Again. Work tomorrow. 15. I'm weird. :)
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