09.23.04 - 12:24 p.m.

I'm still alive.

It's been forever since I've written an entry. I've been on one of those slightly depressive, completly neurotic cycles. I'm pretty much avoiding most everything in my life...while keeping up a very believable facade. I have a great poker face...unless I'm playing poker...go figure.

I'm leaving for New Mexico in about an hour. Because when you're savings account is drained, and you're unemployed...the smartest thing in the world to do is hop on a plane and take a desert vacation. Yes, folks, everything makes sense...to me....sorta.

I don't appreciate life enough.

Neither do you, probably.

I'm scared...of something. What the hell is it, and why does it affect so many of desicions.

Out of control...illusion, but a damned good magic show.

Computer games and marijuana...a portal of indifference. Black hole.

I ramble to kill time...really should finish packing. Will write about my vacation when I get back. I'll be attending a wedding while in Albuquerque, we're also going to drive to Roswell to see the UFO museum. It's going to be great to see the, um, interesting people who go to UFO museums...um, wait, I'm one of those people. Funny.

Okay...so...yeah...when going with the flow...the current isn't so fantastic.

I'm mad. as in crazy.

:)

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